The tech for the new Pokemon app is really pretty cool. Their "augmented reality" feature where a Pokemon is actually "in" your living room, yard, etc is neat. No wonder kids and adults as well can be seen in parks, airports, and malls with their noses in their phones wandering like lost drones. It's obvious that that Pokemon character isn't real - but people choose to "take the leap" in order to be entertained, as the meld of the character with the tech of your phone app let you try to "Catch'Em All". Stories are breaking almost daily of people playing the game, and having accidents because they aren't paying attention to 'real' reality and thats kinda scary when ya think about it. They are willingly getting caught up in their "augmented reality" obsession.
Brings me to a point about social media and memes. Pictures with a few lines to make a point. There are memes about everything. Sports, Work, Politics, you name it. It's the political memes that I wanna focus on. Now I;ll admit, they can be pretty funny. Most of them are an unflattering picture with a couple funny lines about whoever is in the picture--you know what I'm talking about. What concerns me is how a meme has become someones' news source. The problem to me, are the memes that attempt to list accusations or list false facts. Someone finds a picture of their "target", and lists "facts" that either they heard - or in many cases mis-heard.
I'd seen a news story that claimed that "uneducated white men" were predominantly Trump supporters. What got my attention about this story is that that describes me! I am the furthest thing from a Trump supporter, so I had to get some answers as to this claim I kept hearing. I decided to do some "homemade' research.
For the 2 weeks of BOTH political conventions, I spent a lot of time trolling comment sections of news items regarding the Presidential election. Both sides, Republican and Democrat were posting their "facts" about their own candidate or the competition, Passing around memes in defense of their agenda. I started seeing a few that I KNEW to be false. I'd seen a news story that claimed that "uneducated white men" were predominantly Trump supporters. I got the idea to make my own memes and just "make crap up" to see if I'd get called out, I'd hoped at least ONE person would dispute my attempt to defend my agenda, but I never got questioned once on my "facts". They were however quick to copy/paste and share their own instead. I made 4 separate memes with blatant false info and instead of being called out, people simply accepted my "facts" as real. Like hunting Pokemon, people were happy to be in their own "augmented reality". They're too busy in their agenda to worry about 'real' reality. Thats scary too, but for a much different reason. As I read comments and clicked on profiles to get a clearer view of who was commenting, and which "side" they supported, I began to get the results the news was saying about Trump supporters. 10 to 1 Trump supporters (that I dealt with on Facebook) were, in fact, white non-college educated white guys according to the info they provided on their profiles. The Clinton backers seemed to be a 60-40 split White to NonWhite. The issue I had was that BOTH sides simply accepted my made up memes as factual. Not ONE time was I asked for a source, or even had my stuff called out. Both sides seemed to be content - as long as they were hearing what they wanted to hear. That's scary.
We have begun to cling to social media as our "obsession" to be social - but to also get our information. If a friend posts incorrect information, people tend to accept it as factual - as, well - their friend had the info - and they surely can trust their friend....right?
I find it odd that people can spend so much time with their noses on the social media site of their choice - reading comments to their posts, adding their own, passing recipes, catching up with Family, and yes - in far too many cases - getting their "news". People spend HOURS on social media reading....but spend hardly any - IF any, time reading a book. Thats gotta change. I dont have the blueprint for it, but I realize its heading down the wrong path.
Saturday, July 30, 2016
Monday, July 18, 2016
8864 days, but who's counting!
Today, I am a divorced man.
While many know I've been a "single parent" since the mid 90's, as of today - July 18th, 2016- I am officially, finally - divorced.
To some, this comes as a bit of a surprise as I haven't been "married"in their eyes for literally decades. I haven't even seen my ex in 20+ yrs! The majority of my friends have never even MET my ex, as my marriage was so long ago. For the record, it was 8,864 days ago today. That's 24 yrs, 3 mo. and 7 days. But who's counting? People do less time in prison for murder!
Back on April Fools day, I changed my status on Facebook to "Married" because I wanted to be able to officially announce my divorce when it happened. Because of the date - many assumed it was simply a joke, and just ignored it. Sorry. Kinda. Lol.
When my ex bailed on the kids and I back in 1994, both kids were in diapers - and I was a radio dude teaching HS, looking for the "next station". She filed for divorce, but her "demons" got in her way and began missing court dates. When it was obvious that the kids' mother wasn't going to be a part of their life, I decided right then, that my children were not gonna suffer any kind of "set back" just because the other parent wasn't gonna be there. Those kids were gonna have the same opportunities I had growing up. No excuses. That's how I grew up. One parent always working her ass off so her kids would not "need" anything. That's the commitment my Mom gave to her family. We grew up in Ohio as kind of "poor" - but as kids, we just didn't know it. I had a conversation with Mom about my fears, and in her calm "matter of fact" voice I'd come to trust, she simply said "Son, you will figure this out. Just always remember, it's not a childs' fault who their parents are". And with that, I pledged to my kids - and myself - that my own kids would be "raised" the same. They may "want", but they would need for nothing.
Now, from our time in New Orleans....San Luis Obispo......Albuquerque....and back here in Arizona - many times, both sides of the Family - hers and mine, had offered to front the money for my divorce. But, I always saw this as my own "cross to bear". Sure, I could've put together the money to do this much earlier. A divorce with minor children would have been an expensive, long, drawn out process. I could have taken that path - but I always remembered my promise. To me, money for a lawyer for divorce was money better used for the kids.....boy scout camp.....softball tournaments, etc.
There were times I tried dating, but it seemed wrong to me to parade different women in and out of the kids' lives. That's not the "lesson" I wanted my kids to learn about how women are to be treated. Just seemed wrong to me. Maybe I'm a prude. Lol...maybe not tho.
About the time both kids made it to adulthood and independence, Kent got sick and suddenly passed. Shortly after, Moms' health spiraled as well. Losing both in such a short span has made me take a hard look in the mirror. Taking care of someone with a terminal disease opens your own eyes to a number of things. No one is getting any younger. With divorce, my retirement, life insurance, etc. are no longer in jeopardy of not going to my children when I pass. That gives me comfort.
Now, I have no idea what is in store for me the Next 8,864 days. Whatever it may be, I just hope in Mom's opinion.....that I've earned it.
For now - SHOTS!! (ok...maybe "SHOT"!)
While many know I've been a "single parent" since the mid 90's, as of today - July 18th, 2016- I am officially, finally - divorced.
To some, this comes as a bit of a surprise as I haven't been "married"in their eyes for literally decades. I haven't even seen my ex in 20+ yrs! The majority of my friends have never even MET my ex, as my marriage was so long ago. For the record, it was 8,864 days ago today. That's 24 yrs, 3 mo. and 7 days. But who's counting? People do less time in prison for murder!
Back on April Fools day, I changed my status on Facebook to "Married" because I wanted to be able to officially announce my divorce when it happened. Because of the date - many assumed it was simply a joke, and just ignored it. Sorry. Kinda. Lol.
When my ex bailed on the kids and I back in 1994, both kids were in diapers - and I was a radio dude teaching HS, looking for the "next station". She filed for divorce, but her "demons" got in her way and began missing court dates. When it was obvious that the kids' mother wasn't going to be a part of their life, I decided right then, that my children were not gonna suffer any kind of "set back" just because the other parent wasn't gonna be there. Those kids were gonna have the same opportunities I had growing up. No excuses. That's how I grew up. One parent always working her ass off so her kids would not "need" anything. That's the commitment my Mom gave to her family. We grew up in Ohio as kind of "poor" - but as kids, we just didn't know it. I had a conversation with Mom about my fears, and in her calm "matter of fact" voice I'd come to trust, she simply said "Son, you will figure this out. Just always remember, it's not a childs' fault who their parents are". And with that, I pledged to my kids - and myself - that my own kids would be "raised" the same. They may "want", but they would need for nothing.
Now, from our time in New Orleans....San Luis Obispo......Albuquerque....and back here in Arizona - many times, both sides of the Family - hers and mine, had offered to front the money for my divorce. But, I always saw this as my own "cross to bear". Sure, I could've put together the money to do this much earlier. A divorce with minor children would have been an expensive, long, drawn out process. I could have taken that path - but I always remembered my promise. To me, money for a lawyer for divorce was money better used for the kids.....boy scout camp.....softball tournaments, etc.
There were times I tried dating, but it seemed wrong to me to parade different women in and out of the kids' lives. That's not the "lesson" I wanted my kids to learn about how women are to be treated. Just seemed wrong to me. Maybe I'm a prude. Lol...maybe not tho.
About the time both kids made it to adulthood and independence, Kent got sick and suddenly passed. Shortly after, Moms' health spiraled as well. Losing both in such a short span has made me take a hard look in the mirror. Taking care of someone with a terminal disease opens your own eyes to a number of things. No one is getting any younger. With divorce, my retirement, life insurance, etc. are no longer in jeopardy of not going to my children when I pass. That gives me comfort.
Now, I have no idea what is in store for me the Next 8,864 days. Whatever it may be, I just hope in Mom's opinion.....that I've earned it.
For now - SHOTS!! (ok...maybe "SHOT"!)
Saturday, April 26, 2014
Happy Like a Child
Driving into work I saw a Mother pushing a stroller down the street. Her 4 or 5 yr old daughter was walking with her. While Mom huffed and puffed pushing that stroller - the kid "off leash" was having a blast. Skipping, singing, walking along with Mom and her new sibling. I'm noticing kids playing more and more this lately. Unstructured, non-scheduled play. Just "being". I know I was like this at some point when I was that small. I imagine everyone was. A lifetime ago.
Not many of us are anymore. Understandable, as we have mortgages, rent, bills, "responsibilities". I dunno if I'm just getting older and seeing the need to "stop and smell the roses", or whatever. But I DO seem to be seeing the need to try and find the joy that we had when we were all little. It isn't really hard to do - it's the making yourself take the time to do it, that seems to be the problem. The daily grind can make it hard. Long hours. Oppressive workplaces. Unhappy people. Freakin' deadlines. Excuses everywhere. We all have our own lives and obstacles that can keep us from just being happy sometimes.
Kids. Pets. Sports. Goofy videos on Youtube. Whatever works. Been kinda thinking ya better figure out a way to get your head to a place like that from time to time, before it's too late. That saying keeps echoing in my head - "Life is a journey - better enjoy it before it's over".
Saturday, December 24, 2011
15 years....
Tonight is Christmas Eve 2011. My daughter is 19 and my Son will soon turn 18. What an adventure it has been! 15 years ago, we spent our 1st Christmas as the Family we would become. Their Mother had "gone underground" and was nowhere to be found for a number of months. I'd decided I needed to make a choice = either give 100 percent to helping her get clean, or give a hundred percent to the kids. As she'd already chosen drugs and that lifestyle, my choice was clear.
So, off to Louisiana we went! I was moving my Family across the Country to a city where I knew no one. I had a positive outlook and 2 kids still in diapers! I was still young and brash enough to "know" I could get ratings on the radio anyplace - and it was a Night opening at KHOM - Houma, La. - Mix 104.1 in New Orleans- and I was so excited.
From there, my little Family moved to San Luis Obispo, Ca., for my first Program Director job - the station debuted at #3 in S.L.O., and #1 in Santa Maria, Ca. - small markets, I realize - but something I took huge pride in, especially considering when I didn't have headphones on at work I was "Mr. Mom" at home. The company tried to convince me that I should move to their bigger station in Albuquerque- spending so much time here in Phoenix, I tried to tell them the desert really didn't impress me, but the flight was easier from Phx to Alb., than to the central coast of Ca., so off we went again. After a year there, we ended up back here in AZ. A couple of years later found me in a situation where the station changed formats, and I was looking for a new gig. Rather than continue the "move to a new radio market" again, I got out of radio full time and joined the USPS.
In all the relocating for work, changing jobs, etc., I went through the things I think every single Parent goes through..."Am I giving them what they need?", "Is this a better life than they would have had?" Wrong decisions as a single Parent mean worse consequences for the kids. But you do your best. Band, strings, sports, school plays, scouts. Trying to teach them how to be a good judge of character. Being OF good character. These are things that keep me up at night. Did I do enough? Have I done too much?
Are they perfect? Of course not - I mean they got half their DNA from me. But I think they are just where they are supposed to be. It's been 15 years since we had our 1st Christmas.
And I am so proud.
So, off to Louisiana we went! I was moving my Family across the Country to a city where I knew no one. I had a positive outlook and 2 kids still in diapers! I was still young and brash enough to "know" I could get ratings on the radio anyplace - and it was a Night opening at KHOM - Houma, La. - Mix 104.1 in New Orleans- and I was so excited.
From there, my little Family moved to San Luis Obispo, Ca., for my first Program Director job - the station debuted at #3 in S.L.O., and #1 in Santa Maria, Ca. - small markets, I realize - but something I took huge pride in, especially considering when I didn't have headphones on at work I was "Mr. Mom" at home. The company tried to convince me that I should move to their bigger station in Albuquerque- spending so much time here in Phoenix, I tried to tell them the desert really didn't impress me, but the flight was easier from Phx to Alb., than to the central coast of Ca., so off we went again. After a year there, we ended up back here in AZ. A couple of years later found me in a situation where the station changed formats, and I was looking for a new gig. Rather than continue the "move to a new radio market" again, I got out of radio full time and joined the USPS.
In all the relocating for work, changing jobs, etc., I went through the things I think every single Parent goes through..."Am I giving them what they need?", "Is this a better life than they would have had?" Wrong decisions as a single Parent mean worse consequences for the kids. But you do your best. Band, strings, sports, school plays, scouts. Trying to teach them how to be a good judge of character. Being OF good character. These are things that keep me up at night. Did I do enough? Have I done too much?
Are they perfect? Of course not - I mean they got half their DNA from me. But I think they are just where they are supposed to be. It's been 15 years since we had our 1st Christmas.
And I am so proud.
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Failure
I hate failing. I know no one really likes it, and there are times that I'm gonna do it, I've just never gotten good at accepting it. I know failure is a great lesson on the road to success. It's just never set good with me. Eats at my gut. Now you're gonna fail more than you succeed, I get it. I'm talking about failing in the important areas. Failed marriage...failures in radio...as a Parent....brother...Son....other relationships, etc. I haven't dealt well with failure by those close to me either - which is the thing that makes me a failure in them.
These are areas where you don't really have much "wiggle-room" to fix. And they're also areas that failure can be catastrophic. We're all human, so we're fallable. But thats really no reason to accept failing in any of these things. You do what you think is right and when your wrong, youre the bad guy. I'm the bad guy alot. This means I've failed. Marriage, Parent, brother, Son, friend, employee, leader, coach. I've failed alot, and I hate it.
Tomorrow is a new day.
These are areas where you don't really have much "wiggle-room" to fix. And they're also areas that failure can be catastrophic. We're all human, so we're fallable. But thats really no reason to accept failing in any of these things. You do what you think is right and when your wrong, youre the bad guy. I'm the bad guy alot. This means I've failed. Marriage, Parent, brother, Son, friend, employee, leader, coach. I've failed alot, and I hate it.
Tomorrow is a new day.
Sunday, July 3, 2011
People
People have changed.
I grew up in an age without texting or wi-fi. So many more cool things that technology has brought into peoples' lives. Face time chatting, GPS, virtually unlimited channels on TV, cameras to show you the view behind your car, the Internet, cell phones, etc..very cool stuff. Now, my Parents, and their Parents before them, witnessed the same kind of technology leaps in their lives as well. I guess that's just the evolution of technology.
What gets me is that with all these changes in our "stuff", why haven't the "people" changed for the better? When I was a kid, "please" and "thank you" were things that came out of your mouth faster than todays' teen can send a text. Manners aren't exactly extinct or anything - I mean there are some Parents who have passed manners on to their children. But it sure ain't like it used to be. Take care of "me" first attitude....Screw you - I'm going before you......so different from the way I grew up. Nowadays you get such a strange look from someone simply for holding a door open for them.
Driving is way different as well. Part of my job involves driving. I see people being idiots every day. Changing lanes without looking, being an "offensive" driver, rather than a "defensive" one. It just kills me when someone cuts you off, and turns their head the other way, like you will think they didn't see you. That just burns me. Like its some sense of "entitlement" they have or something. I guess the technology of having mounted guns on cars better wait until after I'm gone!
Then again it's not just behavior behind the wheel that has changed. It's in the grocery. At the bank. Hell, even at the park. Like it's some kind of "Hey, I'm before you" kind of thing. What the Hell happened?
That's just not how I was raised. Not how I tried to raise my kids. Not how I hope my kids will raise theirs. Technology has given us so many positive things to add to our lives. - When will "people" evolve like technology has?
I grew up in an age without texting or wi-fi. So many more cool things that technology has brought into peoples' lives. Face time chatting, GPS, virtually unlimited channels on TV, cameras to show you the view behind your car, the Internet, cell phones, etc..very cool stuff. Now, my Parents, and their Parents before them, witnessed the same kind of technology leaps in their lives as well. I guess that's just the evolution of technology.
What gets me is that with all these changes in our "stuff", why haven't the "people" changed for the better? When I was a kid, "please" and "thank you" were things that came out of your mouth faster than todays' teen can send a text. Manners aren't exactly extinct or anything - I mean there are some Parents who have passed manners on to their children. But it sure ain't like it used to be. Take care of "me" first attitude....Screw you - I'm going before you......so different from the way I grew up. Nowadays you get such a strange look from someone simply for holding a door open for them.
Driving is way different as well. Part of my job involves driving. I see people being idiots every day. Changing lanes without looking, being an "offensive" driver, rather than a "defensive" one. It just kills me when someone cuts you off, and turns their head the other way, like you will think they didn't see you. That just burns me. Like its some sense of "entitlement" they have or something. I guess the technology of having mounted guns on cars better wait until after I'm gone!
Then again it's not just behavior behind the wheel that has changed. It's in the grocery. At the bank. Hell, even at the park. Like it's some kind of "Hey, I'm before you" kind of thing. What the Hell happened?
That's just not how I was raised. Not how I tried to raise my kids. Not how I hope my kids will raise theirs. Technology has given us so many positive things to add to our lives. - When will "people" evolve like technology has?
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Radio
Anyone that knows me- knows that radio is my passion. I've been playing music for people since I started high school. I've been fortunate enough to live and work in many different cities in many parts of the Country because of Radio. I'd made the decision to get out of it full time about 10 years ago so I wouldn't have to move Brian & Lyn all over the place. If the USPS is one thing - its a stable gig. (Until recently, anyway!) Boring - but stable.
I have been lucky enough to work with some of the best radio programming minds in the Country - from the start of my career in the early 80's all the way through the 90's. Working under these programmers - watching...soaking up programming philosophies like a sponge. Professionally - this was the most exciting & fulfilling time of my life. Now, these "hands on" radio people I looked up to, all believed the same thing - "Radio Isn't Brain Surgery". The goal is simple, actually - Get alot of people to listen to your radio station - and then make 'em listen for a long time. Period. End of sentence. I can tell you - that does NOT happen without having compelling on-air talent. This is something that the radio dial is missing very badly.
Now, I will tell you that some consultants, some ratings services, & those that don't understand radio talent, will tell you different. They begin their sentences with phrases like "Research shows us we need to talk less"......."Our data says this...".....Bullshit. Its ALWAYS just a weak sales pitch from someone who never drew an audience by making them feel like they'd miss something if they didn't tune in. These are NEVER people that had the talent to create a "show". You want to win in Radio Broadcasting? Simple - Program Compelling Content. At the risk of sounding pretentious - It Ain't Brain Surgery! While I will agree that in 2011 a person has many more choices than we had in the early 80's. With Facebook - TMZ - CNN - Pandora - ipods - online streaming - etc... We all have many more choices than the radio to entertain us. But what radio stations have become - is lazy jukeboxes - a bad version of your ipod. That ain't gonna keep listeners tuned in long.
People tune into a radio station with some kind of content that they are familiar with - usually the format of the music. Ya know what KEEPS them there? It's what happens between the songs. The dude on the air. If the personality sucks - you won't stay long. If the person on the air creates something you enjoy - you will stay as long as you can - and when you choose to tune into the radio again - you will most likely go back to the same station.
TV works the same. Do you have favorite TV shows? Shows that you try and plan to watch the new episode each week? That's because you are Compelled to watch. The network did their job well. Made you want to come back. Just like Radio programming, we know you aren't listening 24/7. What a good programmer wants to do is give you a reason to come back to us when you can. On TV - whether it's a comedy, or mystery, or drama - if you are compelled enough- you tune back in to the next episode. Again - not brain surgery.
My big question is this - Why are the radio programmers of today treating radio like it's brain surgery? Create compelling radio. Or get out of the way.
I have been lucky enough to work with some of the best radio programming minds in the Country - from the start of my career in the early 80's all the way through the 90's. Working under these programmers - watching...soaking up programming philosophies like a sponge. Professionally - this was the most exciting & fulfilling time of my life. Now, these "hands on" radio people I looked up to, all believed the same thing - "Radio Isn't Brain Surgery". The goal is simple, actually - Get alot of people to listen to your radio station - and then make 'em listen for a long time. Period. End of sentence. I can tell you - that does NOT happen without having compelling on-air talent. This is something that the radio dial is missing very badly.
Now, I will tell you that some consultants, some ratings services, & those that don't understand radio talent, will tell you different. They begin their sentences with phrases like "Research shows us we need to talk less"......."Our data says this...".....Bullshit. Its ALWAYS just a weak sales pitch from someone who never drew an audience by making them feel like they'd miss something if they didn't tune in. These are NEVER people that had the talent to create a "show". You want to win in Radio Broadcasting? Simple - Program Compelling Content. At the risk of sounding pretentious - It Ain't Brain Surgery! While I will agree that in 2011 a person has many more choices than we had in the early 80's. With Facebook - TMZ - CNN - Pandora - ipods - online streaming - etc... We all have many more choices than the radio to entertain us. But what radio stations have become - is lazy jukeboxes - a bad version of your ipod. That ain't gonna keep listeners tuned in long.
People tune into a radio station with some kind of content that they are familiar with - usually the format of the music. Ya know what KEEPS them there? It's what happens between the songs. The dude on the air. If the personality sucks - you won't stay long. If the person on the air creates something you enjoy - you will stay as long as you can - and when you choose to tune into the radio again - you will most likely go back to the same station.
TV works the same. Do you have favorite TV shows? Shows that you try and plan to watch the new episode each week? That's because you are Compelled to watch. The network did their job well. Made you want to come back. Just like Radio programming, we know you aren't listening 24/7. What a good programmer wants to do is give you a reason to come back to us when you can. On TV - whether it's a comedy, or mystery, or drama - if you are compelled enough- you tune back in to the next episode. Again - not brain surgery.
My big question is this - Why are the radio programmers of today treating radio like it's brain surgery? Create compelling radio. Or get out of the way.
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