8864 days, but who's counting!

Today, I am a divorced man.

While many know I've been a "single parent" since the mid 90's, as of today - July 18th, 2016- I am officially, finally - divorced.

To some, this comes as a bit of a surprise as I haven't been "married"in their eyes for literally decades. I haven't even seen my ex in 20+ yrs!  The majority of my friends have never even MET my ex, as my marriage was so long ago.  For the record, it was 8,864 days ago today.  That's 24 yrs, 3 mo. and 7 days. But who's counting?  People do less time in prison for murder!

Back on April Fools day, I changed my status on Facebook to "Married" because I wanted to be able to officially announce my divorce when it happened.  Because of the date - many assumed it was simply a joke, and just ignored it. Sorry.  Kinda. Lol.

When my ex bailed on the kids and I back in 1994, both kids were in diapers - and I was a radio dude teaching HS, looking for the "next station".  She filed for divorce, but her "demons" got in her way and began missing court dates. When it was obvious that the kids' mother wasn't going to be a part of their life, I decided right then, that my children were not gonna suffer any kind of "set back" just because the other parent wasn't gonna be there.  Those kids were gonna have the same opportunities I had growing up. No excuses. That's how I grew up.  One parent always working her ass off so her kids would not "need" anything. That's the commitment my Mom gave to her family.  We grew up in Ohio as kind of "poor" - but as kids, we just didn't know it. I had a conversation with Mom about my fears, and in her calm "matter of fact" voice I'd come to trust, she simply said "Son, you will figure this out.  Just always remember, it's not a childs' fault who their parents are".  And with that, I pledged to my kids - and myself - that my own kids would be "raised" the same.  They may "want", but they would need for nothing.

Now, from our time in New Orleans....San Luis Obispo......Albuquerque....and back here in Arizona - many times, both sides of the Family - hers and mine, had offered to front the money for my divorce.  But, I always saw this as my own "cross to bear".  Sure, I could've put together the money to do this much earlier.  A divorce with minor children would have been an expensive, long, drawn out process.  I could have taken that path - but I always remembered my promise.  To me, money for a lawyer for divorce was money better used for the kids.....boy scout camp.....softball tournaments, etc.

There were times I tried dating, but it seemed wrong to me to parade different women in and out of the kids' lives.  That's not the "lesson" I wanted my kids to learn about how women are to be treated.  Just seemed wrong to me.  Maybe I'm a prude.  Lol...maybe not tho.

About the time both kids made it to adulthood and independence, Kent got sick and suddenly passed.  Shortly after, Moms' health spiraled as well.  Losing both in such a short span has made me take a hard look in the mirror. Taking care of someone with a terminal disease opens your own eyes to a number of things.  No one is getting any younger.  With divorce, my retirement, life insurance, etc. are no longer in jeopardy of not going to my children when I pass.  That gives me comfort.

Now, I have no idea what is in store for me the Next 8,864 days. Whatever it may be, I just hope in Mom's opinion.....that I've earned it.

For now - SHOTS!!  (ok...maybe "SHOT"!)