Tonight is Christmas Eve 2011. My daughter is 19 and my Son will soon turn 18. What an adventure it has been! 15 years ago, we spent our 1st Christmas as the Family we would become. Their Mother had "gone underground" and was nowhere to be found for a number of months. I'd decided I needed to make a choice = either give 100 percent to helping her get clean, or give a hundred percent to the kids. As she'd already chosen drugs and that lifestyle, my choice was clear.
So, off to Louisiana we went! I was moving my Family across the Country to a city where I knew no one. I had a positive outlook and 2 kids still in diapers! I was still young and brash enough to "know" I could get ratings on the radio anyplace - and it was a Night opening at KHOM - Houma, La. - Mix 104.1 in New Orleans- and I was so excited.
From there, my little Family moved to San Luis Obispo, Ca., for my first Program Director job - the station debuted at #3 in S.L.O., and #1 in Santa Maria, Ca. - small markets, I realize - but something I took huge pride in, especially considering when I didn't have headphones on at work I was "Mr. Mom" at home. The company tried to convince me that I should move to their bigger station in Albuquerque- spending so much time here in Phoenix, I tried to tell them the desert really didn't impress me, but the flight was easier from Phx to Alb., than to the central coast of Ca., so off we went again. After a year there, we ended up back here in AZ. A couple of years later found me in a situation where the station changed formats, and I was looking for a new gig. Rather than continue the "move to a new radio market" again, I got out of radio full time and joined the USPS.
In all the relocating for work, changing jobs, etc., I went through the things I think every single Parent goes through..."Am I giving them what they need?", "Is this a better life than they would have had?" Wrong decisions as a single Parent mean worse consequences for the kids. But you do your best. Band, strings, sports, school plays, scouts. Trying to teach them how to be a good judge of character. Being OF good character. These are things that keep me up at night. Did I do enough? Have I done too much?
Are they perfect? Of course not - I mean they got half their DNA from me. But I think they are just where they are supposed to be. It's been 15 years since we had our 1st Christmas.
And I am so proud.
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Failure
I hate failing. I know no one really likes it, and there are times that I'm gonna do it, I've just never gotten good at accepting it. I know failure is a great lesson on the road to success. It's just never set good with me. Eats at my gut. Now you're gonna fail more than you succeed, I get it. I'm talking about failing in the important areas. Failed marriage...failures in radio...as a Parent....brother...Son....other relationships, etc. I haven't dealt well with failure by those close to me either - which is the thing that makes me a failure in them.
These are areas where you don't really have much "wiggle-room" to fix. And they're also areas that failure can be catastrophic. We're all human, so we're fallable. But thats really no reason to accept failing in any of these things. You do what you think is right and when your wrong, youre the bad guy. I'm the bad guy alot. This means I've failed. Marriage, Parent, brother, Son, friend, employee, leader, coach. I've failed alot, and I hate it.
Tomorrow is a new day.
These are areas where you don't really have much "wiggle-room" to fix. And they're also areas that failure can be catastrophic. We're all human, so we're fallable. But thats really no reason to accept failing in any of these things. You do what you think is right and when your wrong, youre the bad guy. I'm the bad guy alot. This means I've failed. Marriage, Parent, brother, Son, friend, employee, leader, coach. I've failed alot, and I hate it.
Tomorrow is a new day.
Sunday, July 3, 2011
People
People have changed.
I grew up in an age without texting or wi-fi. So many more cool things that technology has brought into peoples' lives. Face time chatting, GPS, virtually unlimited channels on TV, cameras to show you the view behind your car, the Internet, cell phones, etc..very cool stuff. Now, my Parents, and their Parents before them, witnessed the same kind of technology leaps in their lives as well. I guess that's just the evolution of technology.
What gets me is that with all these changes in our "stuff", why haven't the "people" changed for the better? When I was a kid, "please" and "thank you" were things that came out of your mouth faster than todays' teen can send a text. Manners aren't exactly extinct or anything - I mean there are some Parents who have passed manners on to their children. But it sure ain't like it used to be. Take care of "me" first attitude....Screw you - I'm going before you......so different from the way I grew up. Nowadays you get such a strange look from someone simply for holding a door open for them.
Driving is way different as well. Part of my job involves driving. I see people being idiots every day. Changing lanes without looking, being an "offensive" driver, rather than a "defensive" one. It just kills me when someone cuts you off, and turns their head the other way, like you will think they didn't see you. That just burns me. Like its some sense of "entitlement" they have or something. I guess the technology of having mounted guns on cars better wait until after I'm gone!
Then again it's not just behavior behind the wheel that has changed. It's in the grocery. At the bank. Hell, even at the park. Like it's some kind of "Hey, I'm before you" kind of thing. What the Hell happened?
That's just not how I was raised. Not how I tried to raise my kids. Not how I hope my kids will raise theirs. Technology has given us so many positive things to add to our lives. - When will "people" evolve like technology has?
I grew up in an age without texting or wi-fi. So many more cool things that technology has brought into peoples' lives. Face time chatting, GPS, virtually unlimited channels on TV, cameras to show you the view behind your car, the Internet, cell phones, etc..very cool stuff. Now, my Parents, and their Parents before them, witnessed the same kind of technology leaps in their lives as well. I guess that's just the evolution of technology.
What gets me is that with all these changes in our "stuff", why haven't the "people" changed for the better? When I was a kid, "please" and "thank you" were things that came out of your mouth faster than todays' teen can send a text. Manners aren't exactly extinct or anything - I mean there are some Parents who have passed manners on to their children. But it sure ain't like it used to be. Take care of "me" first attitude....Screw you - I'm going before you......so different from the way I grew up. Nowadays you get such a strange look from someone simply for holding a door open for them.
Driving is way different as well. Part of my job involves driving. I see people being idiots every day. Changing lanes without looking, being an "offensive" driver, rather than a "defensive" one. It just kills me when someone cuts you off, and turns their head the other way, like you will think they didn't see you. That just burns me. Like its some sense of "entitlement" they have or something. I guess the technology of having mounted guns on cars better wait until after I'm gone!
Then again it's not just behavior behind the wheel that has changed. It's in the grocery. At the bank. Hell, even at the park. Like it's some kind of "Hey, I'm before you" kind of thing. What the Hell happened?
That's just not how I was raised. Not how I tried to raise my kids. Not how I hope my kids will raise theirs. Technology has given us so many positive things to add to our lives. - When will "people" evolve like technology has?
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Radio
Anyone that knows me- knows that radio is my passion. I've been playing music for people since I started high school. I've been fortunate enough to live and work in many different cities in many parts of the Country because of Radio. I'd made the decision to get out of it full time about 10 years ago so I wouldn't have to move Brian & Lyn all over the place. If the USPS is one thing - its a stable gig. (Until recently, anyway!) Boring - but stable.
I have been lucky enough to work with some of the best radio programming minds in the Country - from the start of my career in the early 80's all the way through the 90's. Working under these programmers - watching...soaking up programming philosophies like a sponge. Professionally - this was the most exciting & fulfilling time of my life. Now, these "hands on" radio people I looked up to, all believed the same thing - "Radio Isn't Brain Surgery". The goal is simple, actually - Get alot of people to listen to your radio station - and then make 'em listen for a long time. Period. End of sentence. I can tell you - that does NOT happen without having compelling on-air talent. This is something that the radio dial is missing very badly.
Now, I will tell you that some consultants, some ratings services, & those that don't understand radio talent, will tell you different. They begin their sentences with phrases like "Research shows us we need to talk less"......."Our data says this...".....Bullshit. Its ALWAYS just a weak sales pitch from someone who never drew an audience by making them feel like they'd miss something if they didn't tune in. These are NEVER people that had the talent to create a "show". You want to win in Radio Broadcasting? Simple - Program Compelling Content. At the risk of sounding pretentious - It Ain't Brain Surgery! While I will agree that in 2011 a person has many more choices than we had in the early 80's. With Facebook - TMZ - CNN - Pandora - ipods - online streaming - etc... We all have many more choices than the radio to entertain us. But what radio stations have become - is lazy jukeboxes - a bad version of your ipod. That ain't gonna keep listeners tuned in long.
People tune into a radio station with some kind of content that they are familiar with - usually the format of the music. Ya know what KEEPS them there? It's what happens between the songs. The dude on the air. If the personality sucks - you won't stay long. If the person on the air creates something you enjoy - you will stay as long as you can - and when you choose to tune into the radio again - you will most likely go back to the same station.
TV works the same. Do you have favorite TV shows? Shows that you try and plan to watch the new episode each week? That's because you are Compelled to watch. The network did their job well. Made you want to come back. Just like Radio programming, we know you aren't listening 24/7. What a good programmer wants to do is give you a reason to come back to us when you can. On TV - whether it's a comedy, or mystery, or drama - if you are compelled enough- you tune back in to the next episode. Again - not brain surgery.
My big question is this - Why are the radio programmers of today treating radio like it's brain surgery? Create compelling radio. Or get out of the way.
I have been lucky enough to work with some of the best radio programming minds in the Country - from the start of my career in the early 80's all the way through the 90's. Working under these programmers - watching...soaking up programming philosophies like a sponge. Professionally - this was the most exciting & fulfilling time of my life. Now, these "hands on" radio people I looked up to, all believed the same thing - "Radio Isn't Brain Surgery". The goal is simple, actually - Get alot of people to listen to your radio station - and then make 'em listen for a long time. Period. End of sentence. I can tell you - that does NOT happen without having compelling on-air talent. This is something that the radio dial is missing very badly.
Now, I will tell you that some consultants, some ratings services, & those that don't understand radio talent, will tell you different. They begin their sentences with phrases like "Research shows us we need to talk less"......."Our data says this...".....Bullshit. Its ALWAYS just a weak sales pitch from someone who never drew an audience by making them feel like they'd miss something if they didn't tune in. These are NEVER people that had the talent to create a "show". You want to win in Radio Broadcasting? Simple - Program Compelling Content. At the risk of sounding pretentious - It Ain't Brain Surgery! While I will agree that in 2011 a person has many more choices than we had in the early 80's. With Facebook - TMZ - CNN - Pandora - ipods - online streaming - etc... We all have many more choices than the radio to entertain us. But what radio stations have become - is lazy jukeboxes - a bad version of your ipod. That ain't gonna keep listeners tuned in long.
People tune into a radio station with some kind of content that they are familiar with - usually the format of the music. Ya know what KEEPS them there? It's what happens between the songs. The dude on the air. If the personality sucks - you won't stay long. If the person on the air creates something you enjoy - you will stay as long as you can - and when you choose to tune into the radio again - you will most likely go back to the same station.
TV works the same. Do you have favorite TV shows? Shows that you try and plan to watch the new episode each week? That's because you are Compelled to watch. The network did their job well. Made you want to come back. Just like Radio programming, we know you aren't listening 24/7. What a good programmer wants to do is give you a reason to come back to us when you can. On TV - whether it's a comedy, or mystery, or drama - if you are compelled enough- you tune back in to the next episode. Again - not brain surgery.
My big question is this - Why are the radio programmers of today treating radio like it's brain surgery? Create compelling radio. Or get out of the way.
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Dad
It's Fathers' Day weekend. I never really liked that they call it "Fathers' Day', as my opinion has always been that all it takes to be a Father is for some dude to supply the needed DNA - same thing for "Mothers'Day". I've liked to think of these 2 as "Mom's Day" & "Dad's Day". That seems to me anyway, to mean more than simply being a "donor" of the raw materials. It takes more to be a "Dad" than a "Father"........
That being said, I think I remember a different Dad than my brothers and sister do. Being the last of 5 kids, I think I had different experiences with Dad than everyone else had. Maybe because he screwed up with everyone else that he figured he'd try to be different with me. Maybe he saw it like a "batting average" kind of thing, who knows! Maybe he was trying to learn from the mistakes he'd made with my older siblings. I know he grew up in a different time and age that I did. That's something my own children bring up to me, thats for sure! Not, that I'm making excuses for him, but I can attest to not knowing what the Hell I was doing sometimes either! At some point - EVERY Parent is a rookie. I'm no Master of raisng children - everyday, month, year has me trying to figure something new out. I know he made mistakes raising his kids. I know I have as well. We all do the best job we can do - at least I like to think that is what I did raising mine. Was my Dad one of those guys who really tried to be a good one - did he simply not know what he was doing? Or was it easier to be the guy the rest of the Family paints? Was he choosing to be a jerk? Was it because he was unhappy with how his life turned out - I mean, he really didn't have a very good start in life anyways....A bastard Son - growing up in the era he did HAD to be a tough road to hoe. Again, not making excuses - just looking at it from a different angle. Regardless, I would rather remember the old dude that took me fishing....took me to his work when I was little - let me ride along with him on his route, (as it usually meant a big lunch!) I'd rather remember that guy - not the guy that threw ashtrays at Mom, or didn't come to any of my games.
As different Holidays roll around, you see people changing their Facebook pictures. Well, it's Fathers' Day, and I don't think I even HAVE a picture of my Dad - let alone one of the both of us. That kinda hurts. Guilt, I guess. I dunno.
I know as I have raised my kids, I tried to make a point to be picture crazy! I wanted to have a bunch of pictures as they grew up. I kept telling myself, that they were gonna get opportunities I never had - that just because they didn't have a "Mom", they werent' gonna miss anything. When they were small, they loved it & it was easy to get pictures of 'em - as they got older, they complained, but I still got my pictures!
I know someday, I'll be gone - naturally. When my kids grow more to adulthood & are able to look back at times in their lives, like I do about my Dad, I'm hoping there's no confusion for them. They already have enough confusion - unanswered questions about their Mother. They don't need anything like that from me.
When that time comes, & I've passed on and whatever social networks exist, I'm hoping they'll have plenty of pictures of me with them. It's something I think they'd appreciate.
That being said, I think I remember a different Dad than my brothers and sister do. Being the last of 5 kids, I think I had different experiences with Dad than everyone else had. Maybe because he screwed up with everyone else that he figured he'd try to be different with me. Maybe he saw it like a "batting average" kind of thing, who knows! Maybe he was trying to learn from the mistakes he'd made with my older siblings. I know he grew up in a different time and age that I did. That's something my own children bring up to me, thats for sure! Not, that I'm making excuses for him, but I can attest to not knowing what the Hell I was doing sometimes either! At some point - EVERY Parent is a rookie. I'm no Master of raisng children - everyday, month, year has me trying to figure something new out. I know he made mistakes raising his kids. I know I have as well. We all do the best job we can do - at least I like to think that is what I did raising mine. Was my Dad one of those guys who really tried to be a good one - did he simply not know what he was doing? Or was it easier to be the guy the rest of the Family paints? Was he choosing to be a jerk? Was it because he was unhappy with how his life turned out - I mean, he really didn't have a very good start in life anyways....A bastard Son - growing up in the era he did HAD to be a tough road to hoe. Again, not making excuses - just looking at it from a different angle. Regardless, I would rather remember the old dude that took me fishing....took me to his work when I was little - let me ride along with him on his route, (as it usually meant a big lunch!) I'd rather remember that guy - not the guy that threw ashtrays at Mom, or didn't come to any of my games.
As different Holidays roll around, you see people changing their Facebook pictures. Well, it's Fathers' Day, and I don't think I even HAVE a picture of my Dad - let alone one of the both of us. That kinda hurts. Guilt, I guess. I dunno.
I know as I have raised my kids, I tried to make a point to be picture crazy! I wanted to have a bunch of pictures as they grew up. I kept telling myself, that they were gonna get opportunities I never had - that just because they didn't have a "Mom", they werent' gonna miss anything. When they were small, they loved it & it was easy to get pictures of 'em - as they got older, they complained, but I still got my pictures!
I know someday, I'll be gone - naturally. When my kids grow more to adulthood & are able to look back at times in their lives, like I do about my Dad, I'm hoping there's no confusion for them. They already have enough confusion - unanswered questions about their Mother. They don't need anything like that from me.
When that time comes, & I've passed on and whatever social networks exist, I'm hoping they'll have plenty of pictures of me with them. It's something I think they'd appreciate.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)